A Serious Case of Winter Blues

Why, I wonder, were we saying all those things about winters being delayed. On a separate note, has it not become another yearly ritual, like those pondering on the New Year eve about how life passes and you don’t even realize and stuff?

Why is it, that some people just embrace sadness a lot more comfortably than other emotions? And over a period of time these people find each other and connect on a different plane, because well, they know how it feels.

On a parallel track, I’m consciously trying to learn to do away with the negativity, making it a practice to neutralize the anxiety and calm myself down. Life feels lighter this way.

When I was taking up a job which almost everyone agreed didn’t suit my persona and yet no one wanted me to leave, I thought maybe I can pull off the “two-lives” cliché. If only I could put that feeling into words, the one of being someone else most of the time, the feeling of watching your own self going life about as if from the top. At times I really want to open up and be myself, do away with all those check points that are a part of being mature and grown up, not feel trapped for some time.

People like me who find arguments and fall-outs unsettling should take print-outs of the above picture and paste them everywhere. Someone or the other is always going to have a problem with you. This should not become your problem.

Let me tell you of a fun exercise. Take a while chart/ a white board/ a diary. Write in bold letters, ‘WHAT DO I WANT” and jot whatever comes to your mind. Let it lie around, let it sink in; let your soul come up with stuff. It would feel liberating, trust me.

My list for now:

1. Be in a place where I see myself growing
2. Learn French
3. Pursue a sport CONSISTENTLY
4. See the world
5. Do a series of tasks from which I don’t benefit in any tangible way whatsoever

Lastly, it’s the weather, trust me. If you wake up wishing you were at another place on earth where you would get to feel the dear sun; or want to consume loads of chocolates, or never leave your adorable quilt, trust me, it’s just a serious case of winter blues. *wink*