A 15 Yr Old's Dilemma

There are so many problems which we
15yr olds face,each one thinking
that theirs is the biggest one...
The story started when I thought what to take
non medical or arts????
After i realised that the pros n cons method
didn't work,
I just for the sake of it,tried the
Gandhiji's jantar,given in the beginning
of every book,which ppl think is a
wastage of one page....
And,there was this uprising,this
earthquake,this cyclone in my small mind
Everyone in the family said,'Dear GIRL,
take non-med,do engineering,so
you get a better qualification,
some with high expectations said that
dear,you'll make ur life by going to IIT
That was when another story began...
Thus particular person who happened to be
my aunt, said that you should study
hard & go for IIT...But i
argued,masi,I wanna do something
for my country...thats why i
want to take arts and go for IAS...
Being a doctor,and more of a common citizen,she said,'Why shd
you and we want to do something for
the country when it doesn't do anything
for us
I said did you see IIT providing
any scientists who discovered
something or contributed in making
their country feel proud of itself??
All the IITians go to US & make it
the most powerful country
which,by the way intends to
conquer the entire world &
reign it...
Then she goes,'why shouldn't we
go abroad,when we are
not getting the respect we deserve in India,atleast
you have,money there,here
you are nothing but one of
the lakhs of MD doctors,
i replied: But then we make
the country,isn't it,
we have to modify ourselves
If we are existing for 5000
yrs,why shd we give up
now?? We have to go
in administration,since at
present that's the only thing
we can do to improve things.
And i went on and on...
But all I got was:Tamanna
this is a very kiddish thing
you are talking,child
BE practical....
But i got confused...
Didn't people think Gandhiji
was impractical when he said he'll
fight without voilence???
So today i'm being leashed by
various possibilities,
various confusions..........
Instead of improving things
we are telling everyone
be selfish,thats
the only way you'll survive,




But I don't want to be that,that little conscience
inside me sleeping for
so many years is waking
up,I can't lull her into
more sleep, as i did for
so many years bcoz the
world told me to do so...
There is this great dilemma inside me
not just for plus 1 but
for whole life,
what shd I go for...
money,easy life,fame blah blah blah
or my conscience,things
which i would be proud of on
my deathbed when i'll have
nothing to lose...
Gandhi or today's mantri?
What? What?
Can you help me?
Can you do something to
solve this 15 yr old's dilemma








P.s.Dunno wen exactly i wrote it,but it was jotted after the 29th december's entry...so musta been 30th dec 06...I still cant figure out if its a poem or a prose(so i copied it exactly da way i had it in my diary!!!)...n i think i've included all da facts i knew back den(though dey weren't dat many...)...like still remember in history's first chapter we had on first page was written dis thing abt our 5000 yr old civilization...But watever n however it is,i guess it portrays da emotions pretty well...n dats da main purpose,nai?

P.p.s As it turned out,i finally opted for non-med...dose knowin me are aware how it turned out(will elaborate here sum fyn day)...not dat cryin bout past...not at all...as it is i got da least marks in sst in my borads...n dats wat arts mainly has...

Note: Found this post on my previous blog. Partly due to the ongoing writer's block and partly just like that, felt like sharing it :)